Setsue "Katy" Neff— A Life of Love, Faith, and Fierce Devotion

Setsue Neff (née Oshige) was born on February 11, 1932, in Naze Village, Oshima District, Kagoshima Prefecture, Japan — now part of Amami City in the beautiful Amami Islands. She was the beloved only child of Takeyoshi and Tama Oshige, but she grew up surrounded by a bustling network of cousins and uncles who kept her from feeling alone.

As a young girl during World War II, Setsue took on the responsibility of gathering the village children into caves for safety whenever the sirens sounded while their parents worked in the fields. Even at twelve years old, she was quick-thinking, protective, and determined — qualities that would define her entire life.

Her father, a cook on a Japanese warship, eventually moved the family to Okinawa, where he opened a small street-side bar and restaurant. As a young woman, Setsue worked cleaning houses and barracks on the U.S. Navy base. One day, at her father's bar, she caught the attention of a handsome U.S. Navy man, Donald "Donny" Neff, who sat in the back corner and flirted with her every chance he got. She was a beautiful Japanese woman, always dressed in a gorgeous kimono — and we're certain he didn't stand a chance.

In July 1964, Setsue became mama for the first time, welcoming her son, Yoshi Neff (Yoshifumi). In a family story retold with a smile, Donny returned to the States not knowing he had become a father — a surprise that didn't dampen his delight when he found out. The couple married on April 27, 1965, and welcomed daughter Kathaleen ("Kathy") in Okinawa that August.

The young family sailed to the United States, settling first in California and later adding two more children — son Lee and daughter Tammy. Upon arriving in America, Setsue was encouraged to choose an American name; she became "Katy," a name that perfectly matched her mix of Japanese grace and American warmth. To her nieces and nephews, she was simply "Aunt Katy," loved from the start.

Eventually, the Neffs made their home in Pocatello, Idaho, near papa's family. Having never gotten a driver license (she tried) never drove a car, she ran her household without ever holding a steering wheel. She cared for and babysat many children, including those with disabilities who needed extra care, loving them all as if they were her own.

Having never mastered American-style cooking, we did love the special treat when she prepared nori rice topped with sweetened eggs, tempura vegetables, and sushi rolls. She loved camping and fishing with family, was never afraid to scale a bucket of bluegill from Twin Lakes, and she rocked a leopard-print swimsuit with the same confidence she wore her kimono.

As an only child, she often marveled at the size of the family she built and felt deeply blessed by their love. But the most treasured part of her life was her Buddhist faith. Katy was a dedicated member and leader within the High Desert chapter of Soka Gakkai International Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism. She spent countless hours chanting Daimoku for peace, for the happiness of others, and for the well-being of the world. Her faith was the foundation of her life — a constant source of hope, compassion, and joy.

In her last 13 years, Katy lived with her daughter Kathy in Pocatello. Those years were filled with friends, family, day trips, vacations, and nights of laughter and joy. She adored all her grandchildren and great-grandchildren beyond measure — though she would admit, unashamedly, that she loved "the boys" just a little bit more.

Mom passed away August 6, 2025. surrounded by family and as friends chanted Daimoku for her. She leaves behind a legacy of love, loyalty, and faith. She was preceded in death by her parents, her husband Donny, a beloved grandson, and a great-granddaughter. She is survived by her children Yoshi (Tracy), Kathy (Darren), Lee, and Tammy (Shane); her cherished grandchildren and great-grandchildren; We will forever miss her presence.

Kathy wishes to thank Darren for his kindness, generosity, patience, and devotion, and to all who welcomed mom into their lives and brought her joy. Her life was one of service, faith, love and fun — and she will be missed more than words can say.